Due month

"Officially" the baby is due December 21st. However, I'm beginning to think of it more like a "due month" based on the feedback that I'm getting. I go to a group practice which means that each appointment is with a different associate; between MDs and midwives there are 8 people that I am supposed to see. And each, apparently, has a different set of criteria that s/he uses to predict due dates. As such, I've been given 3 different answers to the question, "When can I expect this to be over?"

• The original doc put our due date at Dec 21, but ordered an ultrasound to be sure of the dates.
• The ultrasound showed that the baby was about a week older, but the 2nd doc that I saw said, "Close enough. I dont like to change due dates. Just be prepared to have the baby early just in case."
• Last month, according to Midwife R we looked right on track for 20w. Looked like the 21st was pretty accurate after all. The ultrasound, a week later, confirmed those dates. We had a happy, healthy, very average-sized little boy in there.
• Today, at 24w, the Dr told me that I'm "measuring" a little further along. For those who havent had the pleasure of visiting an OB/GYN every DAMNED MONTH, they use a tape to measure the size of your abdomen (your uterus, of course). The measurement from top to bottom is supposed to correspond with the number of weeks that you are in the pregnancy. Well, the little guy had a growth spurt because he's taking off! This, apparently, is normal... but we're back to thinking more like the 15th. Although, like his colleauge, he didnt want to change the date. He may order another ultrasound, though, if we're "measuring" this far next time.

So, at this time it seems that I'm definitely going to have this kid some time in December. I'm sure that when I get closer to December, I'll be even MORE annoyed with the vagueness.

When I told Spouse that the baby had a growth spurt, and so did I, he laughed. I said, "So... that's why I look as big as a house. Come on, you can say it. I know you were thinking it." He replied, "No. You are not as big as a house." Pause. "Well.... maybe a condo...."


I AM!

16 weeks to go

I had a very scary moment of revelation while in the shower this afternoon--only 16 weeks to go before Jr arrives. Sure, I've known all along that I was due at the end of the semester, and some part of my brain remembers that a semester is usually about 16 weeks long, but for some reason I've only today felt a little terrified by this number.

Last night, one of my colleagues asked, "Are you at the point yet where you're thinking, 'I cant wait anymore! I want him here now!!'"

Um... NO. Should I be?? I'm at the point now where I'm thinking, "Please, God, let someone invent a stop-time machine so that I can have more time to get used to this idea."

I do find myself wondering about him. Who will he look like? Will he have my sense of humor? Will he have Spouse's beautiful smile? I really hope so. At this point, I think I'd be more excited, more ready, if only the whole "birthing" process didnt have to come BEFORE meeting him. And dont give me the "women have done this for thousands of years" nonsense because its not like *I've* done it before. And from what I hear, its pretty horrifying.

We're scheduled to finish the nursery completely tomorrow and I'll probably start moving some of the little things into the room. His room. Maybe I'll even order furniture soon. Ive chosen some that's 50 times nicer than what I have in *my* bedroom. Little brat is spoiled already.

This outfit actually made me cry....

It looks like a normal little outfit, right? Just a stripey shirt and cute pants?

Yeah, well, it has two wrenches and a screwdriver embroidered on it:





And the pants say:




When we found out that we were having a boy, Spouse said, "Now I have someone to give my tools to." Just like his dad and grandfather did.


I'm sure I'd have thought the same about my jewelry, but for his family, its all about the tools. Oh, and the First Son. He is a First of a First of a First... blah, blah, blah. Goes back about 5 generations (that's as far as we can trace). And even though I know that I'd have loved to have a MiniMe of my own, this just feels right.

Stupid cute baby clothes. I dont need to cry in Target.

I have another maternity leave meeting with the new Chair tomorrow morning. He emailed today to tell me that he had "additional information for (me)" and asked when I could meet.

Are you going to discuss this time? Or is he going to lay down the law? Hmmm....

Update on Mat Leave

Met with Chair this AM. All of ten minutes. He's new (though was hired from within our faculty, I dont know him at. all.), so he wants to do some "investigating" about policies, precedents, etc. I gave him all of the information that I had, but I guess he wants to hear it for himself--check my story, right? I had about ten discussion points prepared for a negotiation on actual leave, but he didnt even give me a chance to bring any of it up or ask me for my input. I cant decide if this was because he is new--and as such knows nothing about how to start the leave conversation and wanted to do some research before we talk about it--or, if it was because he's a total autocrat and wants to go away and make a decision to hand down to me.

Either way, I have a feeling that he's going to be a very authoritarian Chair and this may/may not bode well for me. To avoid having a decision handed down to me without any input whatsoever, I sent a v. strategic follow-up email thanking him for the meeting and suggesting that I looked forward to our next meeting so that we could discuss the best options for everyone involved. I also thanked him for being willing to "work with me" to make the best decision. I have no idea whether or not he IS, but wanted to accomplish two things: (a) let him know that as our leader that he should expect to ask for and value faculty input in decision-making, and (b)let him know that I was prepared to argue my case.

He said that he'd get back to me in about a week. I'll let y'all know what happens at that time!

The Good and The Weird at 21 Weeks

Good:
1. Other than some fatigue, I'm feeling pretty well these days. The only really inconvenient thing is that the heavier he gets, the more he likes to rest on my bladder!

2. Although I'm growing every day, I'm still small enough to hide behind dark clothes when I dont want to draw attention to my condition. Oh, and sex is still possible without too many acrobatics.

3. I'm still not totally preoccupied with babies or even my own baby. I understand that this becomes increasingly difficult the more pregnant one becomes, but I'm just not there. I'm getting more and more excited, of course, about meeting him and about figuring it all out, but that baby fever just hasnt taken me over.

4. Nursery is coming along nicely. All we need now is to install and the closet doors and paint the doors and trim and the room will be ready. Not bad since we're still 4 months out.

5. We're coming closer to choosing a name! I think we've agreed on a middle name--my Dad's name. And, we've narrowed the first name down to a few. For now. I guess we could change our minds 1000 times between now and then.

Weird:
1. Puffy ankles. Especially when it is very humid or when I'm sitting still for long periods of time (such as flying or sitting at my desk).

2. Unexpectedly ill-fitting clothes. For example, button up shirts, obviously, arent closing around the waist anymore but they're also no longer closing at the top. I mean, I had a nice pair to begin with... I dont NEED to keep growing of bras!

3. Still cant go near chicken. My food aversion is all gone except for this chicken thing... wont go away.

4. Sometimes my need for chocolate is actually eclipsed by my need for a bowl of cereal with very cold milk. This is usually some time after 11pm.

5. When he moves around, I love it. I love that he's reminding me that he's in there. Like he's saying, "Hello (kick)... Lady (kick).... I'm in here (kick)...."
But when he's quiet, which is more often than not, I have moments of mini-panic. Wonder if that ever goes away.



Tomorrow, I meet with our new Chair to talk about maternity leave. WISH ME LUCK!!!

My uterus is wearing a "kick me" sign

He's so active!

At first I could really only feel him at night when I was lying still, but more and more he reminds me during the day that he's in there. Its funny, sometimes its like he's deliberately kicking the same spot over and over again. When he was doing that last night, I put my hand on the spot and I actually felt the kick on my hand! He moved after that, and I'm guessing that it will be hard to catch him like that when I'm trying, but this means that some time in the near future, Spouse will be able to feel him, too! And as important as the ultrasound photos were for helping him feel like this child is more than hypothetical, feeling him moving around will REALLY make it seem real. It definitely has for me.

Nursery progress

We've come a long way... see?

We have paint!



And closet!



Still to go:

• install closet doors (they're waiting on the dining room floor)
• install window trim, baseboards, shoe moulding, and crown moulding
• paint ALL trim and doors
• install ceiling fan
  
• buy furniture, assemble if necessary
• accessorize
• drop dead (and broke!)

BTW, the paint is NOT pink, it is Sherwin-Williams' "sashay sand." It fits the color scheme of the rest of our house. We really wanted to make a nice room that wasnt overly-baby-fied. We plan to sell this house in the fairly-near future and wanted to make sure that we chose colors that were sort of universally appealing and made the rooms look most attractive. The bedding we chose for the room will baby-fy it enough. I had to crack up, though, when Spouse said, "Um, I know that I said I wanted this color... but isnt it, well, PINK?" I reassured him that it is not, that it REALLY is "sand." Yesterday, I told him that I'd finally decided on a crib and that I would order the honey colored wood rather than white because I thought it would match better and seem slightly less feminine. He agreed, "Especially given that he has PINK WALLS!!" He laughed when he said it, so I know that he's not overly concerned (of course he isnt).... I offered to paint it green if he really felt weird about having a "pink" room for a boy and he thought I was ridiculous. Good thing, since I was KIDDING. I'd NEVER repaint that frickin' room!

My baby the porn star

I thought that my firstborn would surely be a Surgeon. Or maybe a Supreme Court Justice. Or even a Professor like Mommy.

Alas, I was wrong. My firstborn is clearly preparing for a career in porn. During our entire ultrasound session, the baby rolled over and over, ran around, wiggled like mad... all while flashing the camera.

Yep, my little porn star made determining the sex very easy... by repeatedly displaying his penis.


I dont think that I was the only one with tears in my eyes when we found out. So much for "I dont care what it is as long as its healthy."

Ultrasound!!

Our last ultrasound is in about twenty minutes. Today is the day to find out that the little one is just fine. I NEED to be sure. I've been a basketcase and I just know that once we see him/her swimming around again, I'll be ok.

I'll be even BETTER when I can pee. I drank 32 oz of water about 40 mins ago and I think I may actually die before our appointment comes.